#thegayblog. Back when I was mapping out Entries and Features that I would have on my site, June was a particularly interesting month. While dates and events in March, April, and May really worked in my favor, June didn’t have anything that really stuck out to me. Allow me to show you how my thinking process works.
“Man, I need something that sticks out for May. Well, highlighters make things stick out. They also come in many different colors. Rainbows contain many different colors…Oh…”
It didn’t take too long for me to realize that nothing quite sticks out like a rainbow and after the original Power Rangers, the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) community came to mind. The fact that LGBT pride month falls in June was a clear example of things falling perfectly into place. Seeing how I wanted to put together my “take” on the topic of LGBT culture as a talking point for a while, I feel as though I have to put a couple of things out before I get started.
(Un)fortunately when it comes to a subject like this, I have to make sure we’re all on the same page with a couple of things: First and foremost like everything else on Rnazaire.com, what you are about to read is not a reflection of the opinions of my friends, family, or the people I work with – this feature is based entirely on my own thoughts and opinions. So if there is anything, anything at all, that you personally agree or disagree with, just know that this is all coming from me and me alone.
That and just know that the reason that this isn’t an Entry is that it wouldn’t be doing myself or the readers any justice: You will soon see that there is just way too much to put out. With that said, I am a bit Unapologetic (hah!) when it comes to how much I’ve put together for your reading enjoyment. Just remember that for however long it took for you to read this, it took even longer to put this together in a quality way.
While the official site disclaimer says something about me not having any sense of humor (clearly), I have to “warn” you that you will find this feature laced with sarcasm, with a chance of cynicism, and my very best to try not to come off as too preachy when showing where I stand.
Last but not least, now more than ever I am encouraging you, the readers, to provide any and all feedback that comes to mind. I want to know what you have to say. On that note and the note of this Feature being based off of my opinions, I am all for hearing what your opinions as well. However, and emphasis on however, if you think this is free reign to ‘express’ your opinion in any way that is distasteful or disrespecting to anyone be it LGBT or otherwise, then don’t even bother. Just go play somewhere, I’m busy.
Oh and I’m not gay. Seriously – It should go without saying, but I love women as much as I love, well, women. Part of why I think this is a particularly interesting way to go about the LGBT topic is because it is coming from the perspective of one who is none of the above.
Are we good? I could only imagine how it was for you to read all of that so for all intents and purposes, I apologize for the delay. Just know this is the one and only apology you’ll see with this Feature because I’m going in on this one…Pause…So ladies and gentlemen without further delay I present to you: #thegayblog.No Laughing MatterNo Laughing Matter
If you recognize this, then you are old enough to be someone I can relate to. But for the sake of formalities, this was taken from a show called In Living Color – namely a recurring sketch known as “Men In Film.” Here Damon Wayans and David Alan Grier act as two film critics that can best be described as…fabulous. I saw this many, many years ago which could explain a lot as for as me having a jacked up sense of humor.
Before I knew words like ‘fag’ or ‘queer,’ I looked at them as ‘fruity.’ I didn’t see anything wrong with those characters seeing how to me they were just that – characters. There’s no way that anyone would “act” that way on purpose. I ask you to keep that in mind as you continue to read this.
Anyway, I didn’t think much of this at the time. If anything, I just saw them as ‘weird’. Nothing negative, nothing personal; just weird. As the years went on, I found it okay to take the easier route when it comes to Gays and Lesbians by being as neutral as possible while using humor to defuse any tension and I still do this to an extent.
As I got older, though, I traded ‘fruity’ for phrases like sweet, soft, and no homo just to name a few. But after realizing that a lot of people don’t see things the way I do as far as treating the LGBT people as, well, people then I realized that it was no longer a laughing matter; all jokes aside, I decided to figure out what the commotion is all about.Pride and PrejudiceThe Divine Hypocrisy
One of the first things that come to mind when it comes to Gays and Lesbians is The Bible. I mean, you couldn’t pay people enough money to read a book these days but when it comes to the Bible, everyone is an expert. More times often than not, the Bible argument goes something like this:
“But, but The B-Bible said that, uhm, Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve and that’s just yucky unless we’re talking about hot lesbians because they’re different and –”
I’ll admit that sounded way better in my head and when I read it aloud as opposed to you reading it, but just bear with me. Keeping a ridiculously long story short, all I ask is for you not to bring up The Bible unless you know what you are talking about because otherwise it will make it all too clear that you are just using scripture to justify your own personal animosity towards certain people.
Not that it should matter but as a Roman Catholic in this day and age, I handle things objectively while at the same time, keeping what I say and do as simple as possible. With that said, the Bible is filled with all sorts of information both literal and figurative written to guide people in the right path. The thing about it is you can literally get a completely different message depending on which version of the Bible you are supposedly citing. So, keeping things simple, I would like to bring up something that should be universal to not only those who are familiar with the Bible, but anyone and everyone willing to be honest.
So there are stories about someone named Jesus. Jesus Christ: Born in Jerusalem, raised in Nazareth (a literal link to my last name, look it up), a great carpenter, and even better Savior to all Mankind. One, no, the fundamental teaching of Jesus Christ is a simple one: Love. Love yourself, love your family, your neighbor, love your enemy – love everyone.
Simple right? So for those who like to bring religion into the mix, I have to wonder how you justify discriminating, alienating, and downright hating others. After all, you had one job: Love everyone (Not gay, not lesbian, not straight – everyone). You don’t have to like them, but all you have to do is love (which in turn means respect) them for who they are. I try not to bring religion up but people are willing to use means to attack others, then I have no problem using religion to defend people all the same. After all, ask yourself what would Jesus do?
thevillagepeopleWake Up
I find it pretty funny how the religion part was taken care of first. Maybe I should’ve gone ahead and called that section ‘The Genesis’…no? Anyway, let’s switch gears to the day-to-day side of this Feature. When I started to put this together, I did my usual rounds of networking to see if there was anything else worth contributing to making this a well-rounded Feature.
It was obvious that I stepped out of my box with this (not a closet joke, honest) and it seems as though I bit off more than I could chew (don’t even) this time around. You see, I put on my big boy pants and made a couple of calls and emails to people who, surprise surprise, actually know what they are talking about when it comes to the Gay and Lesbian culture.
I was really looking forward to working alongside them and was humbled at the thought of their expertise supporting the points that I am trying to put across. Unfortunately due time constraints, scheduling conflicts, and the fact that I didn’t follow through as much as I should have, I ended up doing this feature Solo Dolo. I mean, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing but this lead to an eye opener in my own inner circle.
With even less time to get this off the ground, I looked towards those in my inner circle and I was surprised to see how quick people wanted to distance themselves from this. For the record, you’re all acting like a bunch of fags. Jokes(?) aside, I was a bit disappointed in what I saw. Up until then, I always saw the people that I associate with as genuinely open-minded people and while I am not holding this against them, I just want to say that this was all the more motivation for me to make sure I said what needed to be said.
Before you continue, please note that this was written in May 2013 for a June 2013 release, m’kay. 2013 – As in the present. As in not the past. As in we, as adults, should be thinking forward, not backwards. The fact of the matter is it is one thing to outright discriminate against Gays and Lesbians, but to distance yourself from the subject altogether is no different not to mention just plain delusional.
I’m going to take a quick pause to list a couple of names in no particular order: Frank Ocean. Lady Gaga. Freddy Mercury. Neil Patrick Harris. Ellen DeGeneres. If you can recognize at least one of those names, that is proof positive that the LGBT community and their allies are a part of everyday life.
So if you think you could just pretend they are some sort of ‘other’ entity in today’s society, then think again. Whether it is the music you listen to, the doctors you see, or the places you work and do business just know there are LGBT people all around that are just like you.  Actually to be more specific, credit goes to the ones that have the courage to be themselves in a world where everyone is a critic.
nohomo Where I Stand
So where exactly do I stand on this matter? Well let’s just say that if there was a no bullshit war between those for and against LGBT rights/equality, I would be the guy that shows up like an hour late with a shield next to Rachael Maddow saying: “Really? We’ve got so much going on in the world, and this is what you’re fighting about? You outta be ashamed of yourselves. Now put down that ‘light saber’ so we can talk about this, sir.” As I’ve said this before, I have absolutely no sense of humor but that doesn’t stop me from calling out a bad joke when I see one: The fact that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” even existed is a joke. The fact that Jason Collins coming out (and not Chris Bosh) was news in this day and age is a joke. The fact that Tyler Perry – Do I even need to go on?
Just to make things clear, words like sweet, soft, and suspect are still on my frequently used list to describe some people that I come across (Pause). Instead of using them in a negative way, I use them as a way to make fun of ourselves and where we are with this ‘issue’. The fact that this is even an issue is probably the biggest joke of them all. But when you have stories of parents giving their own children up for adoption for being gay, then that’s when I draw the line. I think a little bit of empathy can go a long way when it comes to coming to a common ground with one another.  No, this is not my way of saying we should all be holding hands around a camp fire while singing Kumbaya. This is just me trying to say that there is a lot more to life than trying to dictate how others live their own.
Moving on to a more personal note, I know full well what it is like to be discriminated as a minority myself. Discrimination is a very ugly thing that can be done in obvious ways, but it can also happen more often in subtle ways all around us. As a matter of fact, looking at the uphill battle that Gays and Lesbians are fighting for equal rights bare a disturbing resemblance to the Civil Rights movements from many years ago. I appreciate that I live in time when I myself can be treated like a human being, but it is very disheartening knowing that other people, hard working people, are denied many rights that some of us take for granted.
The fact that a convicted felon has more rights than an average Gay or Lesbian citizen makes absolutely no sense. In many ways, Gays and Lesbians are the modern day equivalent to Blacks many years before my time. On a side note if you are a gay black woman, then yeah…Anyway, I think you can understand how I can see where Gays and Lesbians are and if there is any way at all for me to see to it that they are treated the way they should be, then that is where I stand.thegayblog Closing Notes
It wasn’t until I re-read this feature that I realized how many suspect things that I said without realizing it so I didn’t bother pointing them out anymore. As much as I try to speak for both sides when it comes to topics like this, I really couldn’t get around to it this time around. I know where I am when it comes to LGBT, equality, and people in general but it’s good to know that I have it in a way where it is clear enough for anyone to understand. Before I go I want to finish things off by saying something directly to those in the LGBT community:
          Good morning, Good Afternoon. Hopefully things are fine for you. Just to be clear, I am not what you would consider an ‘ally.’ There won’t be a day when you’ll see me at some parade or function ‘fighting the good fight’ or anything like that. I do, however, feel that the best way for me to show my support in the matter is treat you for who you are: people. Who you are interested in is your business and with that said, I’m all for you standing up for your rights and what you believe in.
         For the younger readers out there, just know that there is nothing ‘wrong’ with who you are. You may be worried about what your friends or family may have to say about this, but you are no ‘different’ than anyone else. Just do your best be a good person that’s honest with yourself, and everything will fall in place. That and if there are people giving you a hard time for being yourself, chances are they are more like you than you think and they just have a funny way of showing it so don’t pay them any mind. That and stay in school.
         As for the older readers out there, be the kind of people that the young ones can genuinely look up to. I know it is easier said than done, but if we’re leading the society that sets the stage on how we treat one another, then what will we expect the world to be like when we aren’t around anymore? What will this say about us? That and do your best to save your money.
        Last but not least to anyone and everyone reading this, feel free to use what I have written here to further your cause, get a conversation started, and most importantly, keep it honest with one another and most importantly yourself. Stay strong, friends, stay strong.
I don’t ask for much when it comes to this site ladies and gentlemen but this time around, I would really, really like to hear what you have to say about this. If you don’t feel comfortable doing it here, you can always contact me through other means. Be sure to share this with anyone that you think will find this interesting. That is pretty much all I have to say on the matter, so thank you for your time.
©Copyright | R.Nazaire

2 comments on “#thegayblog

  1. Aye papi… I kid. Anyway I thought what you said was basically this ‘I don’t have a problem with the gays’. If that’s what you set out to do then it’s fine. It works. Truth is, most people don’t have a problem with gays just like most people don’t have issues with other religions. In today’s society most people don’t really..care. That being said, it only takes a few people to make a difference…wow, I said it. So to all those people saying ‘you can’t change the world with just a few people..’ Yes you can, because a few uninformed people have caused such a craze in our country (repeatedly) over the last two centuries. Now listen, I think you made some good points. You stated your opinion. You asserted that to each his/her own. And you stuck it out until the end. The biggest issue I have with gay people is that it is an issue at all. If you turn around every majority for the minority and you apply it to the ‘gay topic’ then the response should be ‘Nobody tells straight people that they can’t get married.’ And it’s as simple as that. Our government denies rights to its citizens based on sexual preference. How silly does it sound when you put into terms that a child can understand? In the 60’s it should have been put ‘No one tells white men that they can’t ride at the front of the bus.’ Women’s movement ‘No one tells men that they can’t vote.’ People are so set against it because they’re told they should be against it. I bet if they sat down, one on one with a homosexual citizen and just had a discussion with one those people (me) then they’d probably find that they like that person and they see no reason they shouldn’t have the same rights as he or she does. Bad things happen to normally sane people when you get them together in a) a group and b) give them signs and c) bring up jesus. Who knows why? It is what it is, but LGBT will win this fight just like people have been winning fights throughout the centuries. It takes time, persistence, and blood. Just like anything that matters to a group of people. Personally, I never thought having insurance for my partner would matter to me until I was faced with the topic. It is so important because you live with that person, you love that person, and you want to provide and take care of that person. Doesn’t matter if they have girl parts, boy parts, or pieces of both.

    • Hey Christy, it’s been a while.

      While I apologize for the delay, I hope that this reply will be worth the wait. First and foremost, thanks for your honest feedback. When I published #thegayblog, the response was generally neutral across the board. People liked how I went about expressing my opinion on the matter, but the steps in moving forward weren’t exactly there.

      I feel I’m partially at fault when you look at it this way: My stance goes beyond ‘I don’t have a problem with the gays’. In simple terms, it’s more of me saying ‘I do have a problem with the fact people have a problem with the gays’ if that makes any sense. My whole thing, Christy, is to express my opinions without forcing them on other people. If I went about doing the latter then:

      A) I’d be a hypocrite
      B) there would be A LOT more #theblogs
      C) I’d be doing these for all the wrong reasons

      #thegayblog, for all intents and purposes, was my attempt at opening the door to an honest, open discussion regarding the topic of LGBT equality in this day and age. While I may have been over my head when I first got into this topic, I think a good friend said it best when she saw this as an honest and personal first start. With that said, I’m looking forward to continuing to fight the good fight the best I can. I’m open to any and all suggestions when comes to using RNazaire.com to press on more effectively.

      Take care, and thanks again for your time, Christy.

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